Wednesday, December 27, 2006

passed down

i've always known that one's parents are almost always one's most influential influences, but it's been brought to my attention that the influence doesn't even have to be direct to be influential.

i'll explain:
i've had numerous discussions with people about the way we should treat the mistakes that people make and the people who make those mistakes. generally speaking, between myself and the person with whom i'm having the discussion, i'm usually the one with the more strict, black and white, "actions bring consequences" opinion. those opinions have been misconstrued as being unforgiving, hateful, and closed-minded. as a result, i'd explain myself further, basically giving the whole "love the sinner; hate the sin" spiel.

i recently came across a comment that my dad left on the blog to which people at his work post comments to discuss books that they read. here's an excerpt from that comment:

"...I have a problem with "losing is unacceptable." ... When [someone] says losing is unacceptable, all I can picture is the tongue-lashing the players would get in the locker room after losing a game. Is it motivating to scold a team for losing, especially if they played hard (just not "hard enough")? When we scold, aren't we really saying, "You're a disappointment to me. You must prove your worth to me by winning cuz if you lose again, I'll have to be very angry with you." Sounds like something the white witch would say to Edmund in The Chronicles of Narnia. God is so different than that. I wouldn't say He's the OPPOSITE of that ("Oh, you lost the game, ah that's okay, maybe next time...just put a smile on your face"). God has that amazing ability to point out our errors and weaknesses in such a way we're built up, not condemned. He makes an appeal, not a tongue-lashing. Look at how Jesus rebuked Martha, or Peter. Yes, the words probably stung, but the only thing that remained after the stinging is the sense that God doesn't reject me, doesn't leave me on my own, but rather builds the relationship, creates the environment for redemption."

this is exactly what i try to get across when i engage people in those kinds of conversations. sometimes it doesn't come out as well as my dad put it. my point with this entry is that i cant think of a time when my dad specifically taught me these ideas word for word, but i still have them as my beliefs. i can only draw the conclusion that i learned from his example, not by words, but by lifestyle.